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Blurred. A word to describe the situation right now. I dont know what is happening. Im hearing things that i never thought i would hear. Seeing things that i never thought i would see. And saying things i never thought id say. But most of all, i never thought it would be like this. 

Here's what's bothering me. Bakit ako lang? Ako may kasalanan ng lahat? Ako nga lang ba? Sige ako na. I said sorry to people because i know and i accept my mistakes. I forgive people to free myself. Pero bakit parang it doesnt make a difference on them? Bakit ako lang? Ako lang yung masama? Ako nga lang ba? Nasasaktan ako. Life is unfair i know. But... bakit ganon? Una palang di ko na maintindihan pero pinalagpas ko. Ngayon kahit di ko maintindihan, tinanggap ko pa rin. Dahil alam kong wala akong magagawa. Kailangan kong tanggapin. And masaya nako. Kasi alam kong kung ito yung magpapasaya sa tao na yon. Go lang. I was happy for everyone. I talked to all of them. To fix things or you could call it 'clearing things up' because ayoko na ng gulo. Ayoko na ng bullshit. Lahat ng tinanong sakin sinagot ko ng totoo. Pero bakit ako pa rin. Ang sama sama ko ba? Oo sige oo. Alam kong masama rin ako. Pero ako lang ba? Alam kong nakasakit ako.. pero ako? hindi ba ako nasaktan? hindi ba ko nasasaktan? ako lang ba? ako lang ba yung nakasakit? These days wala na kong panahon para magsinungaling. Ayoko na ng ganon. Bahala nalang sila kung anong gusto nilang sabihin. Because what people say of me is a reflection of them, not me. I know who I am. I just have to let it all go. To free myself. To unburden myself. I know my mistakes and i know how to accept them. Pero bakit ako lang? Ako lang ba? Ang sakit sakit na minsan naiiba na, naiiba na yung kwento, naiiba na yung tao, naiiba na yung sitwasyon. Pero i know that people dont change so somewhere deep down there, meron pa. There's still something left. Whatever it is. I am letting go of all of it. Sana masaya sila. Because ako? I choose to be happy. And kahit nasaktan ako, kahit nasasaktan pa rin ako. Lilipas din to. Pero yung mga nangyari? Nakatatak na yon sa isip ko. I hope the best for everyone. Hindi ako galit. Ayoko ng magalit for the same reason. I just want peace of mind. Masakit oo. But i have to forgive and accept. Pero ako lang ba? One day all of this pain, all of this will be a memory. Today, i choose to be happy. To be contented. To let go. Sana masaya ka. Sana masaya sya. I hope you do good in the future. I hope the best for everyone. Ang bigat and ang sakit pero kailangan kayanin. I am hurting but I also have to move on. So, i hope this goes on. xx